How do I talk about difference without putting a value judgment on it? If one thing is different than another, must one thing be better than the other? How can I value multiple experiences, approaches and perspectives while keeping a sense of self? Must I choose one as better so that I can hold on to something familiar?
The garden in my guest house. Sometimes different can be just fine!
This project is different than the rest of my work in Afghanistan. I am not working directly with a theater group, I am working with media makers; writers, producers, researchers from Equal Access, Afghanistan. I am training them in methods of participatory storytelling for community engagement and social change. In some ways, it’s very much like the T.V. show I created at the NYC Mayor’s Office of Adult Education.
It’s different working with highly educated, sophisticated men from the capital city versus men with different levels of education from outlying provinces. How have I experienced the difference? There is a warmness and familiarity with the men from the provinces. A sweetness and a homey-ness that comes through in my interactions. With the men in the city … there’s a distance some more formality. I could chalk it up to being busy, being movers and shakers, being pulled in many directions. I could also say it’s because the city-folk are treading new ground. Working closely with women on a daily basis means they must be extra careful to avoid criticism of mixed sex workplaces.
Zabiullah and Arman discuss things. Arman (right) has an amazing voice and sang some verses of the Koran as an auspicious opening for our workshop. He also showed me his Afghan pop music video!
Massoumeh, one of the community leaders and advisers involved in our process, offered another thought. She said in the cities, people are connected only through work. In the village, people are connected through daily life so they know how to be together easily. Profound words.
All this considered, we’ve had a lot of fun and made real connections. An interesting discussion of leadership came up after playing a game called Colombian Hypnosis where one person leads another around the room using only the the palm of their hand. Most of the participants said that they didn’t like leading because they felt that they didn’t know what their partner was thinking and therefore felt strange about just leading their partner anywhere in the room, they said it felt pointless. This got us talking about the relationship between leader and follower. What is the relationship? How are each responsible to the other? What do you need to think about in order to lead well? Where do you have power as the follower?
(L-R) Michael, Bashirat, Arman. Working on the issue of youth oppression.
At the end of the last day of the workshop we went around the room and said what concepts were most interesting and engaging for us personally. Basharat said that the discussion on leadership was the most useful for him. He said that when he went home he realized that as a father, he doesn’t have to take a commanding attitude. He can talk to his children and tell them what’s happening and hear what they’d like to do.
It’s amazing to see how personally this work reaches in such a short period of time. I think that maybe in our few days together, we’ve figured out how to be together easily.
I wonder if the distance/difference in communications is not just city v country but also class. You are working with people who have achieved a certain level so they want to make sure you will add value before they open to you…. whereas people in the country or city who have not had much opportunity to feel and live their potential are more grateful and open to any support. This thought comes from a beautiful 10 days in Morocco that included not just the beauty of design, architecture, reddish brown earth, mountains, etc. but best of all, an invitation to spend two days of EID celebrationa with a taxi driver’s extended family in Casablanca. Urban people, even college educated, but struggling to pay bills and support their families. Tita
Abrazos, m’ija.
diffrence in thinking also creeps up between learned and illerate,with rich and poor, with strong and weak,.many at times diffrence in thinking creeps between caste systems.one thinks it was the judgement of god.even at very mundane level it creeps in between v.well fed and not so well fed.
at the very early stages ,it is the bias,wrong ideas ( in house or schools ) enviroment,and good many factors at very early stage enters the thinking process and later in life grows bigger,stronger and corrosive and much more which clouds the thinking and inlfuences the diffrence in thinking process to the same question to many in the society as whole.
things are getting heavy.time for a cup of mint tea,
LOVE.
hmmm… loved your report… thanks, as always nice, sharp, brilliant…
city people don’t say hello to people they cross in the streets (or in the elevator), village people DO.
city people have planned debts and bills to pay… village people not necessarily… so the focus in city life is more committed to $$ than to people…
reminds me about a short chat I had with a community leader in a tiny self sustained community in the Amazon river, a couple of years ago.
I asked him, how many families moved to the big town… (they count families not people). He said: two.
then I asked him how many families moved in the community?… He said 12…
so I asked him, why do people move here, why they like to live here?
He was not ready for the question, but after thinking for a serious moment, he smiled and said: well, we don’t carry keys here.
- my reading – that means that all doors are not locked (can you smell trust?)
then he added: we don’t have to pay bills.
- my reading – no need to produce cash every month
and finally he said: you know, some people hate to have to wait in line…
- my reading – you don’t have to spend time doing nothing standing still.
just adding this story to your city/village experience…
Love,